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Life goes on...
Life doesn't stop because one gets a rare illness or is diagnosed with a disease. However, mine seems to be delineated by before Cushings, after Cushing's, before BLA and after BLA. Before Cushing's is a gray area. I'm not sure exactly when I started getting symptoms. Some of my symptoms went as far back as childhood but others were more recent when I realized what was wrong with me. I was 47-48 at that time. I'm sure I had symptoms of Cushing's (verified by my photo evidence) from the age of 24.
Skipping ahead past those years between ages 47 and 52 when I was going through testing, diagnosis, pituitary surgery to remove the tumor, recurrence, and re-testing/diagnosis though my BLA, I am in the after BLA era. Does anyone else see her life this way? I know most folks look at graduation, job, marriage, children, etc. as the defining moments of their lives. And my children, plus my grand-child, are definitely more important to me, but I still categorize them in the pre-BLA/post-BLA eras.
Isn't it crazy that one event can be so momentous in one's life? I sit here typing this after a day of being lonely and wishing I was closer to my family and my grandson. Part of me wants to make the big leap and just "do it". Life is short. Just do it. The other, conservative part of me says, "You have to make it to retirement. You have to have something to live on and you don't want to lose this money." And once I do this, which I will someday, I know it will be a defining moment and I'll classify it post-move. I think that's a good thing. I'm tired of living my life around a disease.
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